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Worth noting (since somebody will bring it up in the comments) is that the mistakes that hold you back aren’t about technique (leaning in when talking to people, too much physical contact) or planning (forgetting to check logistics). Before you even approach someone or sit down at your first date, these are the problems that make dating so much more difficult than it needs to be One of the perils of being a geek is that we live in our own heads. We tend to assume that things are always more than they seem whether it’s an SAT question – “That comparison of cow is to goat as BLANK is to BLANK can’t just be because they’re land mammals… This is never more clear than when you see someone playing “Does she like me or not?

maybe it’s because they’re both domesticated and give milk… ” They start reading the tea leaves, examining a woman’s behavior as though it were the Zapruder film, looking for tiny clues that would give us insight into what she really means when she says she’s busy that weekend.

“If it’s a red flag while you are dating, it turns into a billboard sign after you get married.” These wise words are from one of my clients who just got divorced.

My work puts me into the unique position of 20/20 hindsight on dating mistakes that may lead you right into divorce court.

Asking too many questions: I think we know which gender I'm talking to with this one... you are so comfortable in your bed and have no desire to get up.

Here's my analogy about this: When you're lying in your bed late at night and you have to pee...

Fighting in front of other people: This is a huge no no.

However, the more you wait, and the more time you spend thinking about it, it doesn't get any better..fact that annoying feeling only continues to grow.

I’ve cruised hundreds of profiles, read emails, and listened to my clients as they shared their impressions of online dating matches.

After all, it doesn’t do any good to spend your time learning bad habits that you will only have to unlearn later on. We have a hard time assuming that perhaps the most obvious answer is the right answer because we grew up believing that the obvious answer was a trap of some kind.

But sometimes those sticking points aren’t where you think they are. You see, when you’re clever and you know it, you’re more likely to actually make things more complicated then they truly are. Clearly it’s too obvious, therefore there has to be something we’re not seeing…

After all, you need to learn to crawl before you run.

One of the keys to deconstructing a skill is to find and focus on the areas that cause people to stumble and fail.


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