Dating someone of the same race

As I wrote earlier this week, one of the reasons economists like to use dating Web sites for data on mate choice is that people often don’t act in a way that is consistent with their stated preferences.

Say, for example, that I am asked the question “How tall does a man have to before you want to date him” and I respond that height doesn’t matter to me.

– where affinity groups can be together without the presence of the oppressor – exist: so that tough conversations can be had with fewer guards up, so that you can communicate thousands of ideas in a single collective sigh, so that you can cry together with those who don’t just sympathize, but empathize.

Jesus and His apostles taught that we must respect and show compassion for all people of God's creation without regard to artificial distinctions like race and nationality.

If you ask an individual if they prefer to date someone their own race, the majority of people will say that they have no same-race preference.

In the online dating data we are talking about today, for example, among whites, 49% of all women and 22% of men declare a preference for white mates while only 30% of black women and 8% of black man declare a preference for black mates.

That is, unless you count my first boyfriend – José – who, in the second grade, long-distance collect-called me from Puerto Rico and got me in a lot of trouble with my dad. But I think it’s worth revisiting these concepts within the context of romantic or sexual relationships. And the way we practice our allyship in those contexts should reflect that.

So, whether you’re years deep in a charmingly fairy tale-esque romance with your beau or you’re just now firing up to dive into your first, here are seven things to remember as a white person involved with a person of color.

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